Wednesday, February 24, 2010


One of my favorite songs on the radio now is call "inside out". I actually thought it was called Everlasting for the longest time. Some of the words that are repeated over and over is "everlasting and never ending"

To me, powerful words.

Everlasting means eternal.

To me it means always there!
To me it means unfailing!
To me it means power!
There is no stopping in these words, no failing, no giving up!

When I think about my life esp. this year, I do know it will end. I know the trials will come and go. This will be just a tiny speck compared to eternity, but it is reassuring to me that God is everlasting. His light does not end. And it is not just his character, it is He that is everlasting! He was, is and is to come. He is never ending.

When I am down just hearing the word "everlasting" encourages me to trust him to change me, trust him to lay my burdens down, trust him to go on because He will never end. He is always there, always with me and will always be there.
He is never ending in his love, compassion, mercy and grace he gives me. He has never failed to love me and be there for me.

While reading through genesis these past through weeks, I am amazed how He is never ending in his compassion and love toward his people. I am just like the Israelites, always failing, doubting, sinning but God loves me everlasting! He loves me never ending!

He will never ceased to amaze me, He will never cease to love me!

Dear Lord, Thank you for being everlasting and never ending. Thank you for loving with an everlasting love, one that never fails, never ends, never ceases. One that is so amazing!

Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Friday, February 19, 2010


It has been a rough week in our household.
I was so ready for the new normal to begin, to get on a much needed schedule and get on with living through this deployment.

But oh no, something had to hit me. The dreaded stomach bug! It wiped me out, physically, and emotionally. I was not prepared for this. I guess no one is really.

By Thursday, I was over the worst of it, but exhausted. We returned to our schedule of work and school. But unfortunately that did not last very long. The stomach bug hit us again but this time hitting Corryn. She was so pitiful. It was awful!

I was over it, over deployment, over not hearing from him, over throwing up, over sick kids, over everything.
All I could do was cry and cry a lot. The tears flowed so easily. I really could not stop them. Everything set me off. I felt alone, tired, and weak. This was too much for me at this moment.
I wanted to be through with it all, this week, this month, this season, this deployment. I was through with it! I didn't want the fire, the storm. I wanted to be over this, to be on the other side.


A excellant friend sent me a link to a song called "through".
A song about how God will be with me through it all.
A verse in the song goes, 'without the fire there will be no refining." Refining is the process of purification!


As much as I wish He would do it, He will not remove this deployment, this season, this month, this week or even this day from me, but He will see me through it and I am so Thankful!

He will see me through these times to refine me, to change me, to change my girls, to change my husband.
He will see me through these times to mold me into the person He wants me to be.
He will see me through these times to show Himself to the world.
He will see me through these times to glorify Himself.

Thank You Lord, for seeing me through!

I never want to go through the fire, but without the fire there is no refining!
No purification! No change!

But thankfully, God carries me through it!

Lord, forgive me for forgetting that you are leading me through this. That you are on the other side of this.
Forgive me for not seeing through the moment to the end result - my change, my pure heart for you and you being glorified.
Thank you for carrying me through this fire and all the other ones coming. Thank you for getting me through it!

Ps 106:9 b He lead them through the depths as through a desert.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Trees again!

While in Ms, we saw these Cypress trees, this is a picture of just one of a dozen Cypress trees transformed by the storm. They had not always looked like this. Even thought they were so damaged by Hurricane Katrina that the dead parts of the tree were sawed off with a chain saw to form this beautiful piece of art, they were still standing. They were very magnificent works of art and the artists that created them should feel proud.

I want this for me.

A week ago our lives changed! And we are under going a major change in our life.

But I firmly believe this change will be for the better, because of God.

I want to be transformed into something better that the artist (God) will be proud of.
I want Him to get the glory and praise for the work He created, my life.

WE will change, no doubt. Our life has changed. The storms will come some fierce and some mild. They are already here at times.

What will be my response, will I curl up and hibernate or dig deeper and stand?
Will I allow the artist (God) to create in me a new person, a new heart?
Will I allow the artist (God) to cut away the dead stuff, the sin I have?
Will I allow the artist (God) to saw away the dead branches in my life so I will be a beautiful work of art?

I can't curl up, I have to go on, there are two little girls counting on me. Plus I want to hear 'well done my good and faithful servant'.

So Yes I will dig deeper and stand. I will allow the pruning and I do know the pruning of the dead stuff is always painful. I have experience this recently already with my attitude and pride issues. But I am so thankful God didn't have to use a chain saw on me but He used His sweet words and gentle love to transform me into what He wants me to be! Thank you Lord. And at the end of this when God is glorified then it will be worth it. Praise Him.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Ps 51:10

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Just missing him!

I finally got around to straightening up the house. I found a tote bag full of dirty clothes from our trip.

I dump the bag out and see the blue and white shirt of his. I pick it up and just hug it and breath in! Oh how I miss his!

Just missing him!