Friday, January 20, 2012

Look who is 7! Happy Birthday Corryn!

What can I say about you!
You are such a blessing to us!
You make us laugh at the silliest stuff!
You amaze me with your confidence, you will wear the funkiest outfits or fix your hair crazy and be so proud! Go for it I say, live it up.

You are the most giving child I have ever seen. I have seen you give away Christmas presents you have just received!
You are so compassionate  when others are sick or hurt! You sometimes even have sympathy pain which is quite funny.

I love that you still love the color pink!
I love that you really couldn't remember what you wanted for Christmas but was so EXCITED about EVERYTHING you got! Priceless!
I love that you love to color.
I love that you are all girl! You love skirts, nail polish, lip gloss, dress up, etc.!
I love that you jump with excitement whenever you are so happy!
I love that you are my Corryn!

Happy Birthday Corryn!
Mommy and Daddy love you!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Hollyn turns 9!!!

Happy Birthday Hollyn!

9 years old!! WOW!!!
where has the time gone!!!

I remember the morning of your birth, thinking I don't know if I am ready for this...funny I still think this about you growing up! LOL

I don't know if I am ready for you to be in double digits...we have just one more year.
I don't know if I am ready for you to stop playing with asked for a DS video game for your birthday.
  to me a big girl gift.

But you are a big girl.
You are a smart girl.
You are a beautiful girl.

You have such a sweet, tender heart. You are so loyal to your friends. This past year you came home from church upset that one of your best friends wasn't saved. You were so concerned for her and something happening to her before she got saved. So we prayed that she would understand God's word and within 2 months she asked Jesus into her heart!

You have a compassionate heart... If you are missing your father, you whisper it to me so your sister will not hear it and get upset. You get so upset when she gets hurt.

You have a courageous heart! You are in your second deployment and have faced it with strength and courage. I know it is so hard for you two but each day, I see you smile and pray and hope for the future. We all struggle through this sometimes but I know we all are going to make it through it.

You have an adventurous heart! I hope you never lose this! I hope you go through life trying new things and enjoying all the blessings God has given you. I was amazed that when we went to Dollywood this year, you rode big roller coasters, you rode a ride by your self flying 70 ft in the yourself!!! And YOU LOVED it!!!

Sweet girl who has some drama sometimes, Mama and Daddy love you with all our hearts!!!

Happy Birthday!!!!

Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year part 2

When I shared my thoughts last night, it wasn't meant to hurt, offend, convict or even ask for help.

It was me just sharing my working my salvation out....with my Lord!

It is about me trying to live this life and choosing to be Thankful and not disappointed!
It is about me trying to live God first in my life and not just saying it!
It is about me living in hope, joy, peace and not living in fear, sadness and bitterness!
It is about me being transformed by the renewing of my mind!
It is about me trying to do this:
Hebrew 12:1-2a Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witness, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.

 Thank You Lord for the year 2011, all the good times and also all the hard times. I now look forward to what You have in stored for me in 2012.

 Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I love this verse, I have quoted it many times. I have it written down in many places, on my walls, in books, in journals! What a great reminder for my future...for a New Year!

Plans to give me hope and a future!
Another reason to say goodbye to last year because God has plans for me...hope and a future!

Hope is the emotional state, the opposite of which is despair, which promotes the belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.

I have hope, hope that all things work for the good to those who love the Lord! Romans 8:28
I have hope, hope that God mercies are new each day! Lamentations 3:23
I have a future that God himself has planned for me! Jeremiah 29:11

I love the hope of a new year, new dreams, new life...even new challenges.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year Part 1

I am so glad to say good-bye to 2011 for many reasons.

The obvious is this deployment!

It has taken it's toil on me spiritually, mentally, emotionally and  physically. It is nothing like what we imagined or prepared for. Somethings with the deployment are better than the first deployment and somethings are worse!

Spiritually, I feel lost. I pick up my bible and don't know where to start, what to read, what to pray! I feel like I have lost my way.

Mentally, I think about everything, I believe most people who go through a deployment are never able to turn off their minds, but it is exhausting to say the least. In my mind, I always have to be prepared for anything and everything. What to do if I get sick, if the girls get sick, do we have bread, milk, clean clothes, have I paid the bills, if David will call today, maybe we can Skype, Christmas without him, birthday without him, need to get to work on time, drive David's car so the battery doesn't die, get the van serviced, etc. It never stops!

Emotionally, I have never felt so alone, forgotten or disappointed by others. I am truly sadden by the lack of care or concern from my church family for my husband, the girls and myself especially during the holidays. I have cried many tears over this. It truely has broken my heart.  I feel we are slipping through the cracks in our class and no one is noticing. I feel I don't have that true group of friends who would notice. Is it 'out of sight, out of mind'? I don't know...maybe this is not entirely their fault, maybe if I was more vocal of my needs, or prayer requests, made more of an effort or if I blogged more, maybe things would have be different... 

Another part of this struggle I have is lack of time to nourish relationships the way I would like to. I am praying God will change that in me and for me. I know it will take time. But once you get hurt like this, you build up a wall. I am praying God will break this wall down that I have built in my heart.

Dealing with a death over the holidays is always hard. We lost a beloved grandparent very suddenly over Thanksgiving. It has left a huge whole in our hearts especially the girls. They had some much 'missing' over the holidays, missing Daddy, missing Pap Dale and missing friends ( several friends moved away right before Christmas and they knew the friend would not be back after Christmas break).

Physically I am drained. The last deployment, I developed a stomach ulcer. It has reared it's ugly symptoms again. I hate it. With working full time hours, taking care of the girls, and extra activities, I usually don't have time for myself. I know I should and maybe even can change some things but at this moment it is hard. It is hard to find the time to get 8 hours of sleep, exercise or even find time for a daily quiet time. But I resolve to change that.

So I am saying good-bye to 2011.

I believe with all my heart, this is not how God wants me to be. He doesn't want me to be stressed to the max, overcome with sadness, drained physically, mentally, emotionally, and definitely not spiritually.
He wants me to be filled with His strength, His peace, His love and His presense!
He wants me to be filled with HIM!

Ephesians 3:14-19
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

to be continued in 2012....