Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tour of Duty: Preparing our hearts for deployment

I just finished a book called Tour of Duty: Preparing our hearts for Deployment!

My husband and I knew for a year he was going to be deployed. During that time, I tried to prepare. I did everything I knew to get prepared. But I must admit, I didn't prepare my heart like I should have.

Sara Horn has written a great bible study for military wives. This study is written from her first hand experience of deployment. It shows all the emotions good and bad, highs and low, ups and downs anyone who has gone through a deployment experiences.

But this study is different it has advice and life stories I can relate too! There has been many bible studies I have taken where the advice is just that advice not from a personal experience I can relate to. But Sara Horn's study is unique. I know what it is like to wait days for a phone call from my love one, the worry, the fear, the what ifs, etc. The study shares it all.

Tour of Duty not only shows all these thing but give practical, emotional and spiritual help to the reader. It doesn't spoon feed you all the way, you actually have go deeper in your spiritual walk i.e.  answer questions after much prayer and look up verses on your own. It is truely a bible study with a purpose and it achieves that purpose.

I love the message of hope and encouragement it gives through out.

I love how the auther looks at deployment not just her husband's deployment but her's also. How God has this all planned out and He know the outcome. Deployment doesn't have to be all negative, depressing, seperation. Sara shows how God can use a deployment and bring a purpose to your life. It can bring good and something praise worthy to your life. God can change you for His glory through a deployment.

This study also offer resources and extra helps at the end of the book. It tells the reader, 'you are not alone'. We need to know that!
This study was a blessing to read, and should be given out to every soldiers spouse who receives orders for deployment!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Refreshing Christmas!

Refreshing Christmas!

This title seems off! With all the decorating, parties, shopping, church programs, school program, what is so refreshing about Christmas.
But to me it is the perfect time to refresh your faith!

It is a time to reflect on everything God has done for me this past year. It is a time to thank God for everything including the hard times because during the hard time is when we see God the most. When I see all the blessings He has given me then I am refreshed and encouraged.

It is a time to really focus on Jesus and why He came to earth! To save us, to give us a hope and a future.
It is a time to see miracles! Just the miracle of a changed heart! My changed heart from a ungrateful heart to an uplifting heart praising God for all he has done!

It is a time to start anew. To see Jesus and know He forgives completely! We have a fresh start, and new life! But we only have a new life in Him!

It is a time to love, to see perfect Love!, to love others and fall in love with the perfect Love! To love someone you have to know someone and when you get to know God, it will refresh your faith!

visit Wives of Faith! for the last day of Christmas Carnival Blog!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

You might be a military spouse at Christmas if

My hubby is with the Tn National Guard, we just finished our first deployment. Prior to his guard service we were active duty for 4 years so I know a little about being a military spouse at Christmas....

You might be a military spouse at Christmas if you arrive to your first duty station, in a strange city, know no one, and have a poinsettia for your Christmas tree. It came from the apartment complex we just rented an apartment in.

You might be a military spouse at Christmas if you have no funiture to sit on for a Christmas dinner!

You might be a military spouse at Christmas if you set a new tradition of going to the movies on Christmas because you don't have family around, you are in a new city, and don't know anyone and you want something to do!

You might be a military spouse at Christmas if you take down the decorations on the 26th because you hubby leaves for deployment on the 27th!

That is all I could think of for now...

Visit Wives of faith Christmas carnival blogs! for more!

Friday, December 10, 2010

What Christmas means to me........

My hubby and I have been married over 18 years. We have had very nice big Christmases and some not so big Christmases. We have had Christmas in a hotel room, in a city in the desert, earlier than the 25th (because I work in the health care system and had to work Christmas day). We have done presents, and had Christmases with no presents. We have traveled and stayed home. Some times it has felt like Christmas and sometimes not.

I remember some Christmases when I was single and spending the day in the hospital because my parents were there as patients. I remember Christmases just wishing it (life) would be different. I remember Christmases where I thought life couldn't be better!

But as I grow older, my idea of Christmas is changing. We have young girls so we do the tree, the lights, the fun part, the gifts to each other and others less fortunate, and we enjoy that. There is nothing wrong. But I look forward to Christmas for other reasons.

These reasons have a lot to do with my spiritual walk with the Lord! Yes, Christmas is about the birth of our savior. Christmas is a time to focus on my Lord and Savior and all He has done for me esp. dying on the Cross for me.  I have come to realize that the Christmases where I feel the worst (spiritually) has a lot to do where I am in my walk with the Lord! If my focus is just on Christmas and not on Christ and the Cross, then I have no peace! I feel empty and dead! But if I focus and celebrate that Jesus came down from His throne.
We can't celebrate just the birth, we must remember why He came down! To be our Savior! Praise God!

Christmas means to me the Cross! He came down, took the form of man to bear my cross! To take my place!

Now some people may say that is Easter but to me you can't have Christmas without the Easter story!
Thank You Lord! Thank you for Christmas and for Easter!

Visit Wives of Faith Christmas Carnival blog

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without.......

 the birth of Christ!

I know... easy answer but I truly have thought about this all day.

I love everything about Christmas, the music, the lights, the tree, the gifts, the shopping, the parties, friends and family.  But we have this all year long. I can play Christmas music in July but will that make it Christmas? I can put up a tree in June but will it be Christmas? I give gifts all year long. We have family and friends all year long. But do these things make it Christmas?

And what if I have all these things on December 25th, does that mean it is Christmas?

I could have all these things but if I don't worship and celebrate the gift of Christ then it is not Christmas!
The first Christmas was nothing like Christmas now. It was simple and wonderful! It was full of LOVE!
It was Love himself coming down in the form of man to save us!  Not only that, He came down even knowing He would die on the cross for us.That to me is so amazing!

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without my savior!  So whether I have all or none of these things, if I am worshiping the birth of Christ then it is Christmas!

Merry Christmas!
Visit Wives of Faith for Christmas Blog Carnival

Monday, December 6, 2010

My favorite Christmas ornament!

Head over to  Wives of Faith

I love Christmas!!

I play Christmas music in July!

I love decorating our tree.
We put up our 'fake' tree early, granted it does not look full and it looks pitiful but the girls love it.
Next year we will do a live tree! Just fyi!
What I love about our tree is all the ornaments. They are all special, hardly any of them are the same.
Some store bought, some homemade, some new and some very old.

But my favorites are the ones my grandmother made. We called her Big Mama! She weighed all of 80lbs.
She loved to crochet and make clothes for us. She tried to show me how to crochet once but I was too impatience to learn, oh how I wish I could have her here now trying to teach me to 'chain, or double chain'. I do miss her so....
I have 2 quilts and 2 afgans she made, I  hope to pass them along to my girls when they have their own homes. I just love having these item she made because it means she is still part of Christmas. Both of my parents are gone and David's parents live out of state, we don't have blood relatives here in Tn so some times the holidays are hard. But when I see these ornaments, I remember the past holidays and the people who made it special for me. This encourages me to make memories and special times with our girls like spending a evening making paper snowflakes and letting the girls put them under the tree and pretend it is snowing.

Big Mama passed away in 2003, 4 months after our first daughter was born. Hollyn is now seven. I have the last picture taken of my grandmother holding Hollyn. It is something I will cherish forever! I am so thankful that time. This last picture is us about a month before she had her homecoming!


Saturday, December 4, 2010

A year...

A year!
A year ago this weekend we started our deployment and said good-bye!

Our year of deployment is over, it actually ended early!!!

But this year has been like no other year in my life...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Trusting God!

Conversation with David:
Me: I am worried about money!
David: Why?
Me:  I don't know why I am worried so much? Why aren't you?
David: Because it is always there when we need it!

How true?
Why do I doubt God? Why do I doubt Him so much when He has always been there for us? He brought us through this deployment, job losses, miscarriages, infertility, and so much more.
Why can't I trust Him esp. when it comes to finances?

Just questions I am struggling with!

So much to pray for, to think about, to decide to do!!
It is so overwhelming some times :(

But I have to go back to what I know!
God is good , and God is good all the time....
He has a plan for me....hope and a future.....

For I know the plans I have for you DECLARES THE LORD, plans for hope and a future. Jer. 29:11.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Being thankful!

The month has just started and I feel I am being attacked!

But I know God is greater!

Wednesday was hard!
Had another dental appointment which wasn't good. The day just wasn't going my way, the girls were whiny, I was in severe pain, we had church to get to and all I wanted to do was go to bed.

But God showed me some things! And I am very thankful He did!
He showed me I still can be thankful no matter what!

What am I thankful for:
my physical pain is temporary many people live in chronic pain (praying for them)
my van has a flat tire but thankful I didn't have the girls with me
David was minutes away and was able to fix it in no time!

So God is showing me that I can be Thankful in any place, in anything! and I am trying to be that way!

  always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Eph. 5 :20

Monday, November 1, 2010

A Season of Thanksgiving!

 Psalms 106:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his love endures forever.

I am so thankful this year!
What a year we have had!

A deployment that ended 5 months early!
Thank you Lord for bringing my soldier home safe and early!


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Praying for him! and me!

Praying for him!
Tonight as I pray for my hubby while he is away at the men's retreat, I am also praying for myself.
I am not just praying God will change him, or just mold him, or bless him and use him. I am asking God to do the same for me.

I just can't ask for my husband to change, I also have to change. No more worring, but more trusting. Trusting in him and in God! Trusting in the God's word! Trusting in the hope and future He has prepared for us! Jer.29:11

I just can't ask for my husband to be molded! I want to be molded also! I want to be the woman God wants me to be. I want to be praying without ceasing, trusting in the Lord, rejoicing always! 1 Thess5:17, Prov 3:5, Phil 4:4
Use me also Lord!
Bless me Lord! Num 6:24

I know deep in my heart that in order for my hubby to get the most out of this, I have to prepare my heart and mind also.
I really don't even have the answers to where to start changing except to start in my heart!
Start putting God's word in my heart and meditating on them!

I admit it is hard and scary to pray to change! Very scary! It wont be easy!
It wont happen over night, it wont happen in a week, it is a life long process!

But I know it is worth it all!
Change me Lord!

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
       and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

Saturday, September 25, 2010

New name in Glory and it's Corryn!!

There's another new life in our home today!!!

New life in this sweet girl!!

Corryn asked Jesus into her heart last night and David and I got to pray with her and  lead her to her Savior!!
Not only that, her sister who was saved earlier this year got to witness it! So Awesome!!

Here's the story!
The girls and I were getting into the van to go to a girl's spa night. As they were getting into their seats, Hollyn shows us a card she made for God. It said 'God is good'! with many hearts on it. She said she made it for God and didn't know how to get it to him. I told her if she gave it to someone God would get it because He would see it and would love for his children to have a giving heart! She then asked how would he know, and I told her God sees everything, and knows everything! He is everywhere and also in her heart since she asked him earlier this year!

Then Corryn just asks out of the blue, "I want to ask Him in my heart!

What an answer to prayer!! I had just been praying for her to get saved!!! Corryn has such a sweet heart, she actually told me about a year ago she asked Jesus into her heart but did it silently, plus she said she didn't really understand it all, so I told her when she is ready God will help her understand!

So I then start to ask Corryn some questions and show her some verses to make sure she understands, after a few minutes I felt she did. I called David to come down to the van, he came and we talked to her some more and she said she was ready to ask Jesus into her heart.

We started her off with
"Dear Heavenly Father..."
but she jumped right in "forgive me for sinning , Please come into my heart,  in Jesus name, Amen"....

She was so sincere and so sweet! She said Please!!!! How awesome it that!! she comes to the most High with a sincere heart and asks "please come into my heart!! and He does!!

Romans 10:13 For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved!"

What a mighty God we serve! 

Sunday, May 16, 2010

My secret gardener!

The girls and I came outside yesterday and found this. Someone had weeded our flower bed! It is not a big flower bed, but it is a big blessing to me!!!!

I am not a gardner, I hate to get my hands dirty (must be from working in a hospital for so long). The weeds were everywhere, I dreaded doing this job. I felt I didn't have the time or the tools to do it. But the Lord saw fit to help me.

What a blessing, what love, what a gift! Am I making too much of this, Not at all! Maybe who did this, didn't think much of it. Maybe they did it just to get rid of the weeds and not to help me. But I really don't think so! But I know the Lord has blessed me through this.

It wasn't just the act of cleaning this flower bed, it blessed me because I didn't ask someone to do it.
It blessed me because they done it in secret with no attention to themselves.
It blessed me because It was a need I had and God met it! He is so faithful!!! He shows me in the little things how He is still in the big things!!! and I am so thankful for that.

The girls asked me who did this, my answer I don't know but what we need to do is pray and ask God to bless them for blessing us!

Gen. 12:3 I will bless those who bless you.

Dear Lord,
I pray you will bless these friends who have blessed me so much. From their offers of help, to their kind words, to this act of love. Thank you Lord, for showing me how much you care for me. It is not just the big things you do, but the little things also. Thank you Lord for showing me how you are in the small things of my life. Thank you Lord!

Sunday, April 25, 2010


I am so thankful this weekend!

Thankful that my little girl you see here is fine. She swallowed a metal hair pin on Wednesday night just after I had got on to her about having them in her mouth. So we spent the night at children's hosp, they took her to surgery on Thursday afternoon, where they inserted a catheter down her throat passed the clip then inflated the balloon on the end of the catheter and gently pulled out the catheter with the clip.

So very Thankful! It could have been worse!
So very Thankful for friends who came by to check on me and to stay with me when they took her to surgery.
So very Thankful for friends who called, emailed and prayed for us. My sister sent a message over Facebook and so many people who I don't even know was praying and calling her checking on Corryn and myself. WOW!
So very Thankful for a husband who loves the Lord and encouraged me during this whole ordeal. I know this was hard on him to be so far away  and not be here but I know he trusted the Lord just as much as I did that night.
So very Thankful for neighbors who helped with Hollyn by watching her and taking her to school.
So very Thankful for all the love and concern for us. We truly are blessed with family and friends who love us so much.

I love the Lord for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Ps 116:1

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Ps 118:1

Dear Lord,
I can not thank you enough for your protection over us. I can not thank my family and friends enough for their love. But I can pray and give you the praise and honor for showing us mercy and grace last week. I pray for my family and friends that you would bless them and shower them with your love.
I love you Lord.

Sunday, March 14, 2010


I just wanted to say I am sorry I have not posted in awhile, I am trying to get my priorities in order! It is harder than you think!
I love to blog and read other blogs, yet these past few weeks I have not done either very much or very well.

Please continue to pray for David, the girls, and myself as we navigate through these waters!

I will return when God allows me to and hopefully it will be soon!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

a month ago

a month ago we were together

a month ago we held each other

a month ago we laughed, we cried, we were just us together living the five days we had the best we could but dreading this moment, dreading saying good bye

a month later it is hard,  but it is a month closer to us together!

Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith who for joy set before him endured the cross scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart!  Hebrews 12:1-3

 Lord, I am trying not to get weary running this race, encourage my heart, encourage David's heart, we need strength only you can give! Fix our eyes, mind, and soul on You!!! Our hope, our author, our perfecter! Wow! We love you! I love you! Thank you Lord!!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


One of my favorite songs on the radio now is call "inside out". I actually thought it was called Everlasting for the longest time. Some of the words that are repeated over and over is "everlasting and never ending"

To me, powerful words.

Everlasting means eternal.

To me it means always there!
To me it means unfailing!
To me it means power!
There is no stopping in these words, no failing, no giving up!

When I think about my life esp. this year, I do know it will end. I know the trials will come and go. This will be just a tiny speck compared to eternity, but it is reassuring to me that God is everlasting. His light does not end. And it is not just his character, it is He that is everlasting! He was, is and is to come. He is never ending.

When I am down just hearing the word "everlasting" encourages me to trust him to change me, trust him to lay my burdens down, trust him to go on because He will never end. He is always there, always with me and will always be there.
He is never ending in his love, compassion, mercy and grace he gives me. He has never failed to love me and be there for me.

While reading through genesis these past through weeks, I am amazed how He is never ending in his compassion and love toward his people. I am just like the Israelites, always failing, doubting, sinning but God loves me everlasting! He loves me never ending!

He will never ceased to amaze me, He will never cease to love me!

Dear Lord, Thank you for being everlasting and never ending. Thank you for loving with an everlasting love, one that never fails, never ends, never ceases. One that is so amazing!

Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love;

Friday, February 19, 2010


It has been a rough week in our household.
I was so ready for the new normal to begin, to get on a much needed schedule and get on with living through this deployment.

But oh no, something had to hit me. The dreaded stomach bug! It wiped me out, physically, and emotionally. I was not prepared for this. I guess no one is really.

By Thursday, I was over the worst of it, but exhausted. We returned to our schedule of work and school. But unfortunately that did not last very long. The stomach bug hit us again but this time hitting Corryn. She was so pitiful. It was awful!

I was over it, over deployment, over not hearing from him, over throwing up, over sick kids, over everything.
All I could do was cry and cry a lot. The tears flowed so easily. I really could not stop them. Everything set me off. I felt alone, tired, and weak. This was too much for me at this moment.
I wanted to be through with it all, this week, this month, this season, this deployment. I was through with it! I didn't want the fire, the storm. I wanted to be over this, to be on the other side.


A excellant friend sent me a link to a song called "through".
A song about how God will be with me through it all.
A verse in the song goes, 'without the fire there will be no refining." Refining is the process of purification!


As much as I wish He would do it, He will not remove this deployment, this season, this month, this week or even this day from me, but He will see me through it and I am so Thankful!

He will see me through these times to refine me, to change me, to change my girls, to change my husband.
He will see me through these times to mold me into the person He wants me to be.
He will see me through these times to show Himself to the world.
He will see me through these times to glorify Himself.

Thank You Lord, for seeing me through!

I never want to go through the fire, but without the fire there is no refining!
No purification! No change!

But thankfully, God carries me through it!

Lord, forgive me for forgetting that you are leading me through this. That you are on the other side of this.
Forgive me for not seeing through the moment to the end result - my change, my pure heart for you and you being glorified.
Thank you for carrying me through this fire and all the other ones coming. Thank you for getting me through it!

Ps 106:9 b He lead them through the depths as through a desert.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Trees again!

While in Ms, we saw these Cypress trees, this is a picture of just one of a dozen Cypress trees transformed by the storm. They had not always looked like this. Even thought they were so damaged by Hurricane Katrina that the dead parts of the tree were sawed off with a chain saw to form this beautiful piece of art, they were still standing. They were very magnificent works of art and the artists that created them should feel proud.

I want this for me.

A week ago our lives changed! And we are under going a major change in our life.

But I firmly believe this change will be for the better, because of God.

I want to be transformed into something better that the artist (God) will be proud of.
I want Him to get the glory and praise for the work He created, my life.

WE will change, no doubt. Our life has changed. The storms will come some fierce and some mild. They are already here at times.

What will be my response, will I curl up and hibernate or dig deeper and stand?
Will I allow the artist (God) to create in me a new person, a new heart?
Will I allow the artist (God) to cut away the dead stuff, the sin I have?
Will I allow the artist (God) to saw away the dead branches in my life so I will be a beautiful work of art?

I can't curl up, I have to go on, there are two little girls counting on me. Plus I want to hear 'well done my good and faithful servant'.

So Yes I will dig deeper and stand. I will allow the pruning and I do know the pruning of the dead stuff is always painful. I have experience this recently already with my attitude and pride issues. But I am so thankful God didn't have to use a chain saw on me but He used His sweet words and gentle love to transform me into what He wants me to be! Thank you Lord. And at the end of this when God is glorified then it will be worth it. Praise Him.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Ps 51:10

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Just missing him!

I finally got around to straightening up the house. I found a tote bag full of dirty clothes from our trip.

I dump the bag out and see the blue and white shirt of his. I pick it up and just hug it and breath in! Oh how I miss his!

Just missing him!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My heart if full!

I wont be blogging for about 2 weeks because I am going to see my soldier.

It will be the last time to hug, love and just be with him before he leaves.

But my heart is full tonight. Full of gratitude to my ABF who gave us a gift we can never repay (Thank you Lord). Full of fear of driving alone with my girls (please pray). Full of excitement of our time together (Thank you Lord). Full of sadness as I will have to say good bye again (please pray).

2 Tim 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and a sound mind.

So tonight I claim that spirit of power. Power to go on. Power to live a life full of thanksgiving, full of joy while he is gone. Power to say good bye for now. God's power!

I claim the spirit of love. Spirit of Love for others. To show that Love in tangible ways. To love unconditionally like I have been loved unconditionally. To love my husband and my children unconditionally.

I claim the spirit of a sound mind from fear, from worry, from anxiety. Lord, help me to think of things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praise worthy. I will fill my spirit of your word.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Catching my breath!

Sometimes in our life, there are things that cause us to catch our breaths. They may be physical like fighting bronchitis, emotional like seeing your child fall and hit the hope chest, or spiritual.
This past weekend, I have had all three.

Physically I needed to catch my breath. I have been on auto pilot/surviver mode for 3 1/2 weeks. My brain wouldn't stop. My mind was working overdrive but my body was suffering. I was tired, fighting bronchitis, having a birthday without my hubby who I was missing terribly, getting woke up every night by my girls. Physically I needed a break. I needed to catch my breath. And that is what I did. I couldn't help it. When I fell asleep in my van ( while it was parked), I knew I couldn't fight it any longer. God was telling me to rest,to catch my breath.

Emotionally I have been drained, I needed to catch my breath. I need to see some light at the end of the tunnel. I wanted encouragement from others. I wanted to know it would be alright. I just wanted to hear that even though we go through trials God is there in control and that is what I got at our ladies event on Saturday at church called WHOA Women Having Overwhelming Adversary. It was awesome! I saw first hand God's redeeming grace and mercy in someone's life. I saw women praying for another, loving each other, and just reaching out to one another. I saw women trusting in God to control their life, to redeem them, to be part of something bigger than them. I saw women believing God for everything little or big. I needed this breather. I needed to be refreshed and encouraged.

My spiritual walk has suffer so much in the past few weeks, I have highs and lows. Seeing my girl accept Christ has been the ultimate high. Getting behind in my daily reading, very low. Getting the same scripture on a card that I thought of the day David left, Ps 121, high moment. Missing church due to sickness and weather, another low moment. Hearing the words, "in 2 weeks, I will leave for Iraq" spoken to my daughter, stomach turning low very low moment! Seeing the kind words from a friend 'God is on the other side of this', a very high moment. A breath catching statement. A statement to rest with, to be encouraged by, to pray for.
He is already there, I don't have to worry about this. God knew about this before He formed me. He is already there till the end, on the other side of this deployment. And when I get there I will catch my breath and rest in Him!

Friday, January 22, 2010

My Birthday wish!

Usually we spend Fridays evenings with friends at our house or their house playing games and eating. This Friday is no exception, except for one of us is missing. He is gone to do a job.

I am missing him so much today!

I truly feel very blessed by my family and friends who wished me Happy birthday and who had me over for supper and made me a cake.

I just wish he was here with me and the girls.

I hadn't heard from him in 36 hours. Some people may say that is not a long time, but to me who usually speaks to my husband every few hours, 36 hours is a very long time.

So today has been long. I tried to pray but my mind wonders with worry. I try to read but my eyes can't stay open. I try to plan but I can not focus. I try to sing but have no voice. I try go on but have no strength.

I am weary!
I am tired!
I am missing him!

I give up. Give it to you Lord! Praying for strength, for comfort, for peace, for him today.

Praying I will hear from him.

God you heard my cries, you heard my tears, you heard my pray!

My birthday wish came true!

I heard from him today, not very long but enough to "make my day". Enough to fill my heart, enough to go on, enough to comfort, enough to encourage me.

I heard from Him today, all day long, telling me "come to me", "rest", "lay these worries down".

I heard from Him today, all day long, telling me "I am with him, he is mine. I am with you, you are mine. I am with the girls, they are mine."

I heard from Him today enough to fill my heart, enough to go on, enough to comfort and encourage me. And when I hear from Him it really makes my day.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Psalm 34:17

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Happy Birthday Corryn!

Five years ago, our world changed again. We thought after struggling to have Hollyn that she was going to be our only child. But we were wrong and could not be any happier. God blessed us with a 8lb 15oz little girl.
We named her Corryn Rose Rummel. What a beautiful name, what a beautiful baby and that baby is you.
You stole my heart that day. You looked so much like your sister at birth, you two could have been twins at birth.
You are the SWEETEST baby. You give so much. Alway willing to share and always smiling!! You love to dance, sing, and play. You are fearless sometimes. You love to have and do anything your sister has or done. You love to sleep!!! I love that. You are such a blessing to us. You say the silliest stuff like today you asked me if animals have hearts that Jesus can come into?
You are always sharing your toys (mostly always) like the Christmas you asked for a pink lollipop. So we gave you two pink lollipops in your stocking and without thinking you said I got two lollipops here Hollyn you can have one. You do this all the time! It amazes me!
You love your sister, your daddy and your mommy. You love your stuff animals, your toys. You love to dress up, color, paint. You love to be held. You love your space. You love pink, you try to deny it but we all know your favorite color is PINK. You love awanas, you love learning your verses. You love preschool, you want so much to go to school with Hollyn. You love to cut anything including your hair but mostly paper. You love crafts just like your sister. You love to sing and I love to hear you sing!
We love you Corryn.
Happy Birthday!

For this Child I prayed... 1 sam 1:27

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sundays are Awesome!!!

What a week makes, what a day makes!

There is new life in the Rummel family. New life!!!
A new sister!
A new daughter!
A new child!
We are so excited, so happy what God has done!!

You see this girl, Hollyn Ruth Rummel, gave her heart to Jesus today!!!
New Life, January 17th 2010. She accepted Jesus as her savior!!!!!

Her Story!
This time last week, I didn't want to go to church, I didn't want to worship, I felt alone, sad, anger, missing my husband. I didn't want to deal with it, deal with the girls crying, me crying which I think I do a lot of. I just don't want to deal with anything.

Even today, I really thought it was going to be the same as last week, I thought this is how our Sundays are going to be for a while.

Corryn climbed in bed with me early and just cried,"I wish Daddy was here". Me too!!!
Then about 30 minutes later she has a complete meltdown and starts yelling and crying at her sister over nothing. My thought is we are staying home. They need to stay home and go back to bed.

But No! I decided we needed to go. We made it. We were very late but we made it to church, we made it to worship and I am so thankful I did.

So Thankful!!

While sitting in church, the Lord pricked my heart and told me I will be seeing my little girl get saved soon. I saw the image of me picking up Hollyn and her teacher telling me she got saved today. How awesome would that be I thought! And that is exactly what happened today!!! I never imagined it would be today but am so Thankful it is!!!

A friend of my who went through a deployment 5 years ago shared with me her daughter was saved through it, this has been my prayer for Hollyn. That she would see God in her life. That He would be her personal savior! That He would be real!!!!

Oh the tears of joy are flowing here!!!

We shared the news with David, with his own tears of joy flowing and with a lump in his throat he says "that is awesome". He is so excited and happy for his baby girl but I know this is hard for him because he is not here. I was telling him the story and I could tell he wishes he could be here. That he could see, hug and kiss her in person and tell her how proud we are of her. He wants to see her baptized, I told him we could wait until he got home which he replied NO! Do it as soon as she is ready and understands. So I guess we will be filming it for him. I love that passion!

Pray for him!

We are very thankful!!

We are so thankful we went to church today, so thankful for Godly teachers, so thankful for our Savior. So thankful for new life. So Thankful!!!

So today, there is new life here!!
A new name written down in Glory!!
A new sister!
A new daughter!
A new Child of the King!
A new life!!!

Oh, this Sunday is Awesome!!!!

Thank you Lord for saving my girl!
Thank you Lord for saving me!
Thank you Lord for being real!

Thank You Lord!!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Good Stuff!

The day started off a little rough but ended great!!

What an amazing God!!!

He allowed me a few minutes of speaking to my hubby without the kids around. Much needed!

Then we got another phone call from Daddy, and the kids got to hear from him. Great day!

Dinner at wendys, laughing in the car, cuddling on the couch watching a movie. Good stuff!!

Just a evening living our life, smiling!!!

What a awesome God I serve!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sundays are Hard!

I love Sundays!

Sundays are awesome. Sundays are days to relax, to take a nap, to read the paper. Sundays are days for big meals after church, to go the church, to renew you soul, to refresh your spirit. Sundays are days to prepare for the week, get clothes ready for school, get me ready for work. Sundays are days to enjoy friends, to enjoy family, to have fellowship. Sundays are days for worship, for praising, for rejoicing.

But this Sunday was HARD!!!

It started early, the girls were crying for Daddy within a mile from the church. When we got to church, I wish I could say leaving wasn't an option but it was.
I miss Daddy too, it is hard to walk into a couples ABF and sit by yourself, it is even harder to walk alone to the sanctuary. It is hard to deal with the girls all day when you need a nap so bad, when you are not in the best of moods, when they need a nap and are not in the best of moods. It is hard to deal with everything on your own. It is hard to be alone.

I literally had to get back in the van to gather my thoughts to see if I could go in. I had to urge to leave, if I go somewhere else, just to kill time would that make it better? Maybe we could go to the bookstore, I tell myself I could get a coffee and read the paper, the girls could play with some toys. We could skip church, we would feel better. It will be easy. No one would notice.

But God would notice!

I just told Corryn as we were getting dressed this morning, Daddy is helping little girls to live in a free country so they can go to school and to church. Going to church is a privilege, it is a freedom, we will not take it for granted.

But at that moment in the van, even that was not enough. I didn't want to get out of the van. I didn't want to see my girls cry anymore.I didn't want to face anyone, I didn't want to have to sit alone, I didn't want to cry anymore. We have been in the deployment for two weeks, two weeks - why so hard now, I have a whole year left.

But then I heard the sweet voice of God say "trust me". Come inside! Be filled! Be renewed! Be refreshed!
Where do I go when I am sad, to my Lord. Where do I go to dry my tears, to my Lord. I need to go in, the girls need for me to go in, the girls need to go in. We need You Lord.
I turned to the girls, spoke to with all the courage I could find, "the best place to go when you are sad is to church, God will make us feel better". I asked are you ready and with little smiles and big tears still wet on their cheeks, they answered yes, we are ready.

We go in!!! Church was great!! God was there, He noticed I was there. He spoke to me. He dried their tears, He dried my tears. He was with me, I was not alone. I am never alone. I worshiped, I sang praises, I cried some more. I rejoiced.

This Sunday was HARD!

I have many Sundays left in this deployment, some will be easy some will be HARD. But I am trusting in the One who made them all. I will get out and go in. I will rejoice! I will worship! I will cry! But I will not be alone!

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:4

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Happy Birthday Hollyn!!!

Happy Birthday Hollyn Ruth Rummel
Seven years ago, a 8 lb baby girl rocked my world. And that girl was you. Plus you still rock my world!! I can not imagine my life without you.
After many years of trying to have a baby and suffering two miscarriages, God blessed us with you.
You are amazing!! You are so smart, so beautiful, so loving, so dramatic, so sweet, so precious! You notice when someone is upset and tries to help. You always asked where Corryn is. You worry about her like she is your child and not your sister. You ask questions I can't even answer. You laugh and play like there is no tomorrow. You are talented. You love to do crafts. You love me, Corryn, and Your Daddy. You miss your Daddy so much now. But I know he misses you more. You are just like him. You can't stand to go to sleep, you are a night owl. You don't wake up to easy either just like him. You love candy, you love Dollywood. You love stuff animals, toys, and music. Your favorite holiday is Christmas!! Because of the Christmas story. You love soccer, Ms Dockery, your sunday school teacher Ms Brice. You love your friends, you want to be friends with everyone. You love to dance, sing, play, color. Sometimes you love to whine! LOL You love going to Awanas, church and soccer games. You love hugs and kisses, you love to sleep with me in my bed. You love to get into my craft stuff. You love bed time stories, biscuits, pet shop, movies, polly pocket dolls, princesses and sweet ice tea!! You are my sugar pie!!!!!
You are my girl! I love you!!!
I prayed for you and I am praying for you now. I pray you will be saved soon, I pray God will bless you!!

Hollyn, WE LOVE YOU!!!!!

For this child I prayed.... 1 Sam 1:27

Monday, January 4, 2010

Tears and a Birthday!

As I sit here thinking about this past week, I think I may have cried more this week than any other time in my life. But I am so grateful for the tears.

Tears of happiness for my little girl who turned 7 on wednesday.
Tears of helpless as I think of my hubby far away and not being able to help him.
Tears of gratefulness as friends come beside me to pray for me and my family.
Tears of laughter as the girls play in the snow for the first time.
Tears of missing Daddy as he is far away.
Tears of peace as I give it all to the Lord.
Tears of contentedness as I rely on the Lord for everything.
Tears of madness as the girls fight over everything. It drives me crazy.
Tears of Joy as my little girl said, "this is the best birthday ever!!!"
Tears of sadness as Daddy is missing his little girl's birthday.

Sometimes, they come quickly and wont stop. Sometimes quietly and stop fast. I can't even explain it. But ever so the tears are so relieving. They encourage me to cry, to feel the pain, to feel the moment, to live the day. I don't want to stop the tears. I want the tears to flow, to refresh my spirit, to reap Joy in the morning. They encourage me to seek my Savior, my Comfort, my Lord, my King. They encourage me I don't have to be strong for He is my strength, my Prince of Peace. They encourage me and tell me, I am not alone. He is there, wiping my tears away. Comforting me, being my strength, my wisdom, my peace.

Lord, thank you for the tears for I know there will be many tears this year some tears of sorrow, some tears of Joy. Thank you for drying the tears, thank you for comforting me, for giving me Joy in the morning. Thank you for never leaving me.

'weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. psalm 30:5b

Friday, January 1, 2010

My opportunity!

I love this picture of David and Hollyn because he took this opportunity to play with them while we waited to leave.

I am making my new years resolutions or goals for the year just like most people do. But as I was praying and reading my bible these last two days, the thought that has been with me for weeks, maybe months came back with a vengeance. That thought is "not to waste a minute of the year".

Not to waste this opportunity. Yes to me, this deployment is an opportunity. It is life altering, life changing, challenging, hard, sad, lonely, frustrating, funny at times, etc. But none the less an opportunity!!

An opportunity for me to grow closer to God. A dear friend who 5 years ago stood where I am standing told me this week that her husband deployment was a year of unbelievable growth in her relationship with the Lord. She learned to pray through and for everything. She learned to lean on Him for everything. I am learning and embracing this opportunity also. I don't want to be the same person I am now at the end of 2010. I want to be better. I want God to change me, mold me, and make me better for Him. I don't want to be where I am spiritually now, I want to be deeper in His word. Deeper in my relationship with Him. I want to know Him better, love Him more, trust Him completely. I don't want people to see me, but to see HIM.

An opportunity for me to grow closer to David. We may not have a lot to time together so we can't waste it on things that do not matter. Our phone calls are short, our texts are shorter but our love is growing deeper each day. It is opportunity for me to say the important things, to speak kinder words, to share more thoughts, to let go of the past and just focus on the here and now. It is an opportunity for me to live in the moment with him. It is an opportunity when we can't talk to go to the Lord and pray more. I am learning and embracing this opportunity a lot lately. But I do pray when he does call that God will give us the words we need to hear and to say to each other.

An opportunity for my children to grow closer to God. This is an opportunity for me to show them God in our daily life. They are watching everything I do and say. And I want God in everything I do and say. I want God to be real for them. This will (hopefully) be one of the hardest things they go through but I want them to come out of this believing God and seeing Him in their daily life. I want them to see God perform miracles in their life. I am praying for their salvation. I want them to know Jesus as their lord and savior soon, I want them to lead a life that is spirit filled. I want them to pray and pray believing!!! So I have to have God real in my life, my life has to be spirit filled. I have to pray and pray believing!

An opportunity for my children and I to grow closer together! This is opportunity for me to talk to them more, play with them more, pray with them more, hug them more and love them more.

An opportunity for me to grow closer to people. I have been blessed with godly friends, some new, some old who have reached out to me. They have encouragement me, inspired me, comforted me, cried with me, laughed with me, prayed with me and for me and just loved me. This is an opportunity for me to give back, to be an encourager, to inspire, to comfort, cry with, laugh with, pray for and to love people.

So to me this year is an opportunity! My opportunity!