Saturday, December 12, 2009

I Believe!!

I have struggled all week with having some Christmas spirit. I have been tired, alone, discouraged, lazy, you name it I probably felt it the past 6 days. I have had it all but Christmas spirit. Even more so, my house has shown it, all we have done is the tree. No presents, no garland, no wreaths, no nativity. I justified it by saying I don't want to get a lot out because it will be me alone cleaning it up. I didn't even want to go to our ABF Christmas party. (But I did and am very glad I did)

But today was different.

I decided we would go out and have some fun. Get in the Christmas spirit. Big mistake. Went to the girls favorite place, a craft store, got - you guessed it, crafts. Came home, started the crafts, but honestly it didn't help. It's not working.
Why am I so blah???? What is going on with me?????

Maybe church will help. Off to church we go for the Christmas program. One child is crying she doesn't want to go because she wants to finish her craft, the other is mad she can't go to the nursery and play, she has to come with me to the program. I am exhausted by this time.!!! Maybe I shouldn't have done this.

But what a mighty God we serve. He showed up in a amazing way. This program was great. All the songs ministered to my soul. I had forgotten the real reason for the season. It is so hard to stay focus sometime.

My mind has been on what or who isn't here with me now vs WHO is here with me now.
I have been consumed with self pity.

Then I hear a song, "I Believe". Never heard this song before but it spoke to me, personally.

"I Believe, I Believe He came down just for me" WOW!!!!!
I believe He loves me!
I believe He cares!
I believe He is with me always!!!
I do believe He chose me!!
I do believe He came just for me!!!
I believe the true meaning of Christmas is Jesus!!!

It's not about the decorations, the music, the things we do, it is about my heart. What does my heart believe. It is about the relationship with my savior. It is about do I believe, and do I live like I believe!

I came home and decorated with my nativity set but even if my heart is not right, that would not give me Christmas spirit. I need to be right in my spirit with God to have Christmas Spirit. I need to be in worship with Him. My mind needs to be focus on Him and that He came just for me.

Thank you Lord.

Dear Lord,
Forgive me for forgetting the real reason for this season. Forgive me for not living like I believe. Forgive me for forgetting that I do believe.
Change this heart! Make it new! Fill it up with YOU.
In Jesus Name

I believe!!!!

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